The bank doesn't affliction about your assuming adulation and trust.

Last Update: May 21, 2010

I won't be doing this every time.  But here's another of my articles made funny.  By the way, carnality versa down in the middle of the article comes from vice versa. 

On the good side, they kept both my links intact, bless their silly souls.  And I sincerely hope that things don't go abominably for any of you.  Enjoy.

 

You bought your acreage afore you got married. Now you wish to remortgage. You and your apron wish the both of you to be on the remortgage loan, as an act of adulation and trust. You accept abundant assets to authorize all by yourself. Besides, both of you accept acceptable credit, so it will not hurt.
The coffer says it’s okay. You’ve asked mortgage brokers, your solicitor, and your acquaintance from beyond the street, they all said it’s okay, so you’re accessible to do it.

Don’t.

Guess what? The Bank, even if their rep. sighed “How cute,” the Bankdoesn’t affliction about your assuming adulation and trust. The Coffer is thinking– yes, Banks think) — the Coffer is about what’s acceptable for the bank, which is abbreviation accident and authoritative added money at your expense.

Here are the after-effects of what you are proposing to do. In this case, what’s acceptable for you is not acceptable for the Coffer and carnality versa.

Consequence #1. You and your apron are traveling to feel closer. For a while.

Consequence #2. Both you and your apron are now amenable for paying that home loan.

Consequence #3. This one follows anon from Consequence #2. The Coffer now has 2 bodies to go after, should things go absolutely abominably for you and your spouse. And it will.

Consequence #4. If things go able-bodied always (or till the accommodation is remortgage afresh or paid off), both your and your spouse’s acclaim continuing and castigation benefit.

Consequence #5. If things go abominably for the two of you and you no best can allow your home and cannot advertise it, both your and your spouse’s acclaim yield a hit.

If you had not both active for the loan, at atomic one of you would still accept acceptable credit. Why is that important? It’s easier to buy addition home at a acceptable absorption rate, you pay beneath for insurance, administration don’t about-face you down if they acclaim analysis is allotment of the accomplishments blockage they do, etc., etc.

All of the aloft after-effects can be abbreviated as follows: you lose, the Coffer wins. So if abacus your apron on the remortgage accommodation doesn’t decidedly advance the absorption amount (and so decidedly abate the mortgage payments), don’t accept your apron assurance the accommodation papers. Never. Ever. It’s banned by your self-interest.

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maureenhannan Premium
Oh my goodness, Dusan! You lose, the Coffer wins. Despite the egregiousness of this spun article (Is that what it is?), it somehow contains small doses of archetypal wisdom. Kind of reminds me of when George Orwell did his snarky rewrite of the Ecclesiastes passage in bureaucracy-speak. You rock--thanks for the good laugh!
p.s. Abacus your apron sounds sort of like an expression a Southerner would use to avoid swearing. Well, abacus mah APRON!
And "banned by your self-interest." Well, now we get down to the existential heart of the matter....
maureenhannan Premium
Oh my goodness, Dusan! You lose, the Coffer wins. Despite the egregiousness of this spun article (Is that what it is?), it somehow contains small doses of archetypal wisdom. Kind of reminds me of when George Orwell did his snarky rewrite of the Ecclesiastes passage in bureaucracy-speak. You rock--thanks for the good laugh!
Fallulah Premium
Always great to start the day with a good giggle :) Makes life so much more FUN :)) Thanks as always Dabk!
reefswimmer Premium
oh, this is so funny. Question| how did you find out this had happened??? It looks like someone used an automatic translator to translate from English to some other language (and those single steps can be funny in themselves...) and then someone (maybe you???) saw the article posted in that other language and used an automatic translator to put in back into English. Is that what happened???
Anyway, it is really funny. You and your apron...
Diane, reefswimmer
jatdebeaune Premium
Sounds like a SNL skit.
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