2012 - Day 009 - On Persistence. I Begin My Day...
Last Update: January 09, 2012

01-02-12_On Persistence.  I Begin My Day...

A Dream I Had This Morning...
 
I found myself in a small apartment behind the home of some militant folks.  They were always active and stayed away from the bad things in our environment.  This meant cell phones, plastics, most of the food in the grocery stores and some other thing I can't remember.
 
I was afraid to go outside and intermigle with them.  They were very quick, of tremendous physical strength and stamina...and I was ashamed, so I staid inside.
 
At one point I had tried to help out by putting some sort of compound on the windows.  Not sure why I did this, but it made a mess on every window I put it on.  I had put some of it on a window earlier but could see someone had cleaned it off.  I realized what I had done and made an attempt to go around with a razor blade and take it off the windows I had put it on most recently.
 
One of the younger militants was outside and I could not go near the shed.  I asked him what the compound was for.
 
"It strengthens the walls and makes them very hard."
 
He disappeared.  I went into the shed and found a razor blade to clean up my botched attempts at helping out.  I had mixed this compound in a small paint roller pan and found that the stuff just crumbled out easily.  It was not mixed right.  I went around and removed the compound gobbed on the windows.  It all came off with a slight film left behind.
 
It was now dark and I heard some rustling.  Two of the older militants rushed around my apartment moving as quickly as greyhounds.  One tackled the other and they went into a wrestling match.  I stayed out of the way.  There's no way I could relate to the high level of activity these two were engaged in.  They were laughing and playing totally oblivious to normal life in America.
 
Later, from inside the apartment, I could hear sounds from behind.  I looked out the window and it was daylight.  The athletes were engaged in running lawnmowers along a sort of track.  The track had four lanes and were just like those used in running sprints, though just wide enough for a lawnmower.  I watched this match.  The track ran behind my apartment along the edge of a ridge before it dropped off into the woods.  In the end, the fun game was judged by how well the grass was cut and not so much who reached the finish line first.
 
When I asked about this event, I was given a snappy answer but was nonetheless given an answer.  I don't remember what was said, but it was something far beyond the evidently redundancy of engaging in such a sport.  My asking seemed to open communications.
 
I was outside and one of them came near to me.  "There are some things you can do."
 
He pointed out some of the things, and one of them was a sort of clothe line-looking apparatus.  They used this to do exercises on and he began showing me things to do on it.
 
I was not to put my whole weight on it because it might break the stainless steel cables there.  I told him I knew I was 100 pounds overweight.  I looked and there he was holding himself up in suspension by his teeth.  I told him, "I could never do that!  I would break my teeth!"
 
I awoke from the dream...went to my email...
 
Wow!  Something from One of the Jobs I Applied for!
 
Thank you for taking the time to apply for the Grocery Team Member PT position -. We were very pleased with both the quality and quantity of applicants we received for this position.  After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that at this time we plan to focus our efforts on candidates that more closely match our goals for this position.
 
We will maintain your candidate profile in our database and invite you to visit our Winn-Dixie Careers page at www.winn-dixie.com.  Please continue to search and apply for open positions that you are interested in.
 
Thank you for your continued interest in Winn-Dixie.  We wish you success both with your job search and future endeavors. 
 
I put my head down...I don't qualify for a BAG BOY position???
 
The Next eMail...
 
This comes from an article...and I put the entire article here because it has very much to do with many of the same things I've found myself and may touch some hearts here at WA.  Not all of us were given good hands in life and I recognized some time ago that it's not what you have that counts...it's how you use what you have.  I have not yet mastered this but working hard on it.  This article touches my heart because it is very much in line with my own experiences and how I've been working to overcome them.  The final part of my writing today...
 
Persistence: Playing a Poor Hand Well
 

"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well." - Jack London

Research indicates that holding good cards is actually of great benefit in life. People born into wealthy families, who are emotionally and financially supported to become all they can be, have a great advantage over people from poor and emotionally unsupportive families. People who have to overcome childhood abuse have a much harder time in life than those who were loved. While some challenges do make us stronger, huge challenges such as severe childhood abuse can take such an emotional, spiritual and physical toll that the saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," doesn't always hold true.

Despite all that, each of us has the opportunity to play a poor hand well. Each of us has the opportunity to learn and grow from the big challenges in our lives.

I look back on the poor hand I was dealt, and I'm so grateful for the little bit of role modeling I received regarding persistence. I think it's this one quality - persistence - that has enabled me to turn the poor hand into a very fulfilling life.

* Since I was born into a very poor family, I learned early how to earn money and become self-sufficient. From an early age, I persisted in earning and saving money.

* Since I was a lonely only child, with emotionally unavailable parents, I learned early to make friends and connect with others.

* Coming from a narcissistic mother and a sexually abusive father (my father was also the nurturer and the one who taught me persistence) I began my learning, healing, spiritual journey early in my life.

* I stuttered badly as a child, having inherited this from my father. But I had a lot to say, so I persisted in learning how to overcome this to become a public speaker. Wanting so much to overcome this severe disability led me to learn about and implement many different modalities into my life - from diet to spiritual surrender.

* Having been a very sickly, allergic child and hating being sick, I learned about nutrition early in my life to create the healthy body that I now live in at 72 years of age.

* Being a naturally empathic child and experiencing both my parents suffer so much, emotionally, in their lives, led me to co-create the profoundly healing Inner Bonding process.

* Desiring to share Inner Bonding with all those who are suffering and seeking relief, led me to spend the last 13 years developing the SelfQuest computer program that teaches the Inner Bonding process. There were so many huge challenges along the way, that if I hadn't learned persistence, I would have let it go a long time ago.

* If I had not spent 30 years in a very challenging marriage, I would not have learned how to help others heal their relationships.

Would I have persisted in all these things if I had been born with a silver spoon in my mouth? I don't know. Certainly there are many people who are born with huge advantages who do wonderful things in the world. What I do know is that the good hand is not a prerequisite for manifesting yourself into being all you came here to be.

We all have the opportunity to take the hand we are given and put forth persistent effort toward manifesting what is important to us. We can spend our energy blaming our past or our current circumstances, or we can spend our energy taking persistent loving action in our own behalf.

Filed under: Persistence
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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

 

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stevedevane Premium
Hi Daniel,

Interesting dream. Any idea what it means? Or if it means anything?

I expect the job e-mail wasn't saying that you aren't qualified, but instead that your not the person they want. They are probably looking for younger folks, I expect.

It seems to me that you are doing a good job playing the hand you were dealt.

Best wishes for great success.

Steve
Daniel Euergetes Premium
I think the dream has something to do with the fact that I had better do something about my health. I am overweight and have been concerned about what I once was and how some of that could be restored. I realize I'm now older. I think an article about testosterones I recently read came into play here. The important thing from the dream was that I was "ashamed." That is the message from it. As for the letter, my employment report is not good. I'm not one to try to fanagle accountability with my time over the last five years. I've had very little verifiable employment during the time and it's this, I believe they have disqualified me...and not so much age because there are grocery associates (nice title for 'bag boy' and 'material handler') who are older than myself in that store. I do not hold the record for being the most well-rounded employee...not by a long shot. I've not had a job in almost two years (not verifiable anyway) and I've been fired from the last three before that...two because of personality clashes with some of the very shallow folks I was working with...and the other due to poor health at the time. Hey, I can't help that my personality doesn't line up with those who like to hide from their superiors and spend the day gossiping around the water hole. In the last situation, I learned to keep my outside interests out of the workplace (i.e. becoming an entrepreneur) because some of the misunderstanding that came from this didn't help, and in fact, made me look like a "know-it-all" which I've never purported to be. In some ways, I came across as a threat to them and they ganged up on me...got me fired.
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