"If you can keep your head when all about you..."

Do you remember "If", poem by Rudyard Kipling? That poem has had such a profound influence on me from very long ago, when I was just a small girl. I even have a teddy bear from childhood that I called "If". He's a little worn and tired right now, but he's a reminder. I'll keep him forever.

That poem sums it up quite well. It describes an ideal state of being: "the evolved human", with qualities of wisdom, coping, tolerance, strength and grace. Don't we all want to be like that? Maybe you have attained that level of maturity already. Living in the world, unencumbered by little annoyances and  treading lightly, has got to be free-ing.

Here's something to remember when dealing with the Chicken Littles or naysayers at home: "If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too..." OK, sure there are scams on the Internet. There are scams everywhere. So what? Friends and families have to stop insulting our intelligence and be gracious enough to get out of the way while we do what they think we can't do. It wouldn't hurt some of them to take the path less traveled once in a while themselves. Just have a nice talk with them because you need to free your psyche of negativity. I know you love them, but they're not doing you any favors. I know they don't want to hurt you. Get it through to them somehow.

But that's not wholly why I am writing this blog.

I've been doing a great deal of thinking, free association, you might say. I finished reading The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. I'm just about to start the morning pages, (you know, the exercise where you write 3 pages in the morning of whatever comes into your mind, even if nothing comes into your mind). Have any of you done that yet? If you haven't, get to it, it's an adventure. You will get great insight into yourself from that book. My revelations so far have been mind boggling, pulling up skeletons like my lunatic uncle. Uncle Charles used to embarrass us by playing pranks on the White House in Washington. And that's the least of it because he was totally nuts. Oh, when I think about it. If he were around to tease Washington now, he'd be thrown in jail for sure. Crazy Uncle Charles was colorful and destructive and is now under the bright lights of my scrutiny, not judgment. So too, my Diva Aunt. But unfortunately, they've both passed on. You see, Julia Cameron wants you to look at childhood experiences that may have made you doubt your creative self. The process requires total honesty. No sugar coating. No nice nice. Frankly, I'm a bit spoiled in that I have been coddled by a mom who thought her three daughters could walk on water and I always thought my mom and my sisters could also walk on water. Free association...reading the book led me to think about "balance". Not conventional balance, like you have to exemplify someone else's idea of balance and be "average", perish the thought. Borrrr-ing. Truthfully, I love excess. Don't call the SWAT team yet. I do draw some lines. I really do love too much of this, too little of that and to tie it all together with counterpoint. Don't be a slave, be yourself.  Be your expressive self. If you eat too much sometimes, excellent. If you overwork, even better. If you talk too much, well that can be obnoxious to other people even though you may enjoy it. If you over socialize, fine if that's what you want to do, but how are you going to get your work done? If you're a neat freak, Perfect!!! If you over exercise, when you start to hurt, you'll tone it down. If you don't exercise, not smart, your health could suffer. If you like a color, use it however and wherever you want.

If you binge, don't waste the fun you're having by feeling guilty. I don't binge much any more. I f I do overeat, I simply eat like a gnat the following week. If you are a workaholic, then just balance it by playing equally hard when you're not working. There are people who love their work, so they put a lot of hours in and there's nothing wrong with that. It's what they enjoy doing. I'm like that, and my friends hate me for it sometimes. Sorry.

I do worry about addiction. You can be addicted to anything, even IM. Certainly, alcohol. Certainly, drugs. You have to take responsibility for your actions and not harm yourself or anyone else. But that doesn't mean you have to conform.

Keeping your balance means standing up, on your own two feet, and not being knocked off balance by fear, or criticism, or fear of criticism. Follow your own path, take chances, live life on the edge if it suits you, be kind to everyone. That's what I got out of "If".