Losing My Grip on Things Here at WA
Last Update: April 20, 2012

I'm not sure how to write this. It's the first time in a while I've written here. I've tried to do things to my blog to in hopes of being able to contribute something here.

WA is growing very rapidly and I feel like I'm left behind. It isn't the IM. It has always been my personality and every thing else has been secondary to that. A lot of times I find myself wishing to move on to the next life. I know it's bad to think like that.

I wish I could wave the magic wand and dissolve away what is causing me to lag.

Someone said, in fact, I hear this often..."Don't worry about what other people think." This is incredibly challenging to me because I had my identity and spirit ripped from me when I was young. I understand what happened, but still don't know how to deal with it.

What about not worrying what others think? I realize there are borders with this kind of thing, It's all a part of being unstable. Not caring about what others think, in my position, has gotten me in a lot of trouble. Some people can do this and are respected for it.  I guess charisma does that.  It's definitely not one of my strengths.

Why should I even bring this stuff up in here? Because it has everything to do with mine being a success story or not. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels the way I do now.  I can write very well at times, but I can't get into general (well, like the Chat Engine, for example.) I still feel so out of place with this and come up with corny things.

The other thing that complements the not worrying about what others think is "Be Yourself."

It's great advice and people love following those who insist on being themselves and breathing life on their own terms. That, I'm sure comes with a great price, but for many people, it's natural.  These people sometimes wonder why I can't "just" be myself.

I can be myself...but it makes everyone head for the hills.  So, I kinda get the same feeling I get many times walking into a room, could be a corridor or actually just anywhere there is a small group of "peers."  Come into the midst and the talking stops.  I'd love to be able to intermingle on there, but I don't know when to talk or shut up, and often find I've broken into ensuing conversations with something stupid.

I just don't know what to say of myself. I think I've said enough. These are my thoughts. I really wish this social thing would improve because that's the one thing right now, more than anything else, that is stopping me in my tracks. I'm trying to learn tenacity and get strong. I literally watch others very closely and consider how they are wired so I can learn how to be a respected human being and not thus.

My greatest concern in all this comes from reading I've been doing on the topic of influence.  I see the kind of things going on silently that people naturally do with someone they consider not in the loop.  I also see things about myself in that reading.  I realize how important this is, and despite the advice to not dwell on things we DON"T want, sometimes we have to look at them and understand what they are and how they got there to win the battle.

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Stepping Stones to Premium
Hang in there Daniel. Maybe we can all figure out these changes together. Sherry M
Daniel Euergetes Premium
Thanks Sherry. I will be viewing the WAbinar today if I can get it to load. Getting it to load when live was out of the question. I'm barely in range for Internet connectivity, so it goes in and out. Not much can be done about it now, so living with it.
klrrider Premium
Hey Daniel... I follow you and I like you just the way you are. There are many ways to to gauge success and it doesn't necessary depend on your bank account or how many "friends" you have. Love yourself and the love of others will follow. My uncle used to tell me (he is gone now) "you can count your real friends on one hand, if you have a handful you can consider yourself blessed."..the older I get the more this is playing out. Enjoy life and play the cards you are dealt to the best of your ability... treat others the way you want to be treated no mater how others treat you. I am sure you have heard all this before but it really works. You make it happen. Hey have a good rest of the day and keep posting! Sorry for the reply but after a couple of beers I couldn't help it!
stadium Premium
don't drink and write klrrider. Comon man. Daniel you made a new years resolution, I read it and have seen you countless times since making it, violate it. Why you spend so much time writing here about things that pertain to your personal life when you could be using your great skill of writing to build your own audience on your own website is beyond me. It actually makes me mad when I see you post something on WA, you have a gift Daniel use it.
Daniel Euergetes Premium
Glorious beer! That's quite alright. I'd like one right now but with my stomach issues, that won't be happening any time soon. @stadium I don't make new year's resolutions, but I have made resolutions. I have not given up on them. Why do I write here about personal issues? Sometimes I simply need the input. It is a place for me to express these things. I strongly believe in journaling and have done it for years. I'm also actively working on my campaigns. This is contrary to the belief that I'm doing all my writing here. Not so. I write all over the place. There's no doubt I can write. Finding the hot stuff to write is sometimes a challenge for me. I post here because it's my outlet. Otherwise I'm bottling this stuff up. You can be assured with Jay behind me, I'm doing more than just posting here. Thanks for commenting. I do remember a post that appeared on a blog over a year ago. In comparing that writing with an article spun carelessly, I found the drunk writer made much better sense!
stadium Premium
Hey Daniel what was your New Years resolution? Seems as though you never followed it.
Daniel Euergetes Premium
I never had one. Go back and look. You won't find one. I don't believe in setting goals like this...unless something happens to come up on January 1 of whatever year that I recognize needs a goal implemented...but not for the sake of it being the new year. Yes, I've made goals and some of them I have not done very well keeping.
nfsuperc8 Premium
Just get a good mentor and stay positive brother .Read guys like Napolian Hill,Richard Branson,Howard Hughes ,Tony Robins and Seth Grodin!
Daniel Euergetes Premium
Fortunately, I do have a mentor. He's not always eye to eye on my IM endeavours because he believes in the old-school way (being a former school teacher himself) Read Napolean Hill (most of the way through), listened to Tony Robbins' Personal Power Course. Not heard of Richard Branson nor Seth Grodin...and surprised to see Howard Hughes in the list. I was in the Dale Carnegie Course but failed it. I obtained a copy of the How to Win Friends & Influence People text. Need to go through this.
krafty Premium
A good approach to take is just to respect yourself and not to try to be wired like someone else. Not everyone can like an individual, and on the other hand, not everyone can dislike that same individual. Just align yourself to positive people and avoid gettng mixed up with the negative thoughts that some people seem to have.
Daniel Euergetes Premium
On the line of respecting myself, it too, is challenging. I recently even noticed how people close to me will be talking to other people around, and then to me, slightly raises the voice and "talks down" to me. I've had this so much in my life, that I find myself in self-talk of this manner. It is, like I rebuke myself very often, talking down to myself as if I am indeed dumb and must be dealt with that way. It comes from years of negative reinforcement from authority figures. As for learning about how folks are wired is not my quest to become like them, but simply understand how human psychology works. I absolutely WANT to be myself, but the self that doesn't make every flower droop when walking past. This is very hard to explain, but somehow I'm sending the wrong messages to people and it makes very good sense that if I'm trying to tell some one something and my body language is saying something different...Wham! My credibility is GONE before I ever even get started! This is why I've been on the credibility kick lately and asking questions about it. Joining WA has been the one big asset to me with regard to aligning myself with positive people. Many times, people are on the Chat Engine "shooting the shit." I have never been able to form any real relationships here (or anyplace else outside of the very close circle I'm part of in the small community I live in.) Of the negative ones, I do not have those around me anymore (HA...its because I'm jobless right now. I'm not unemployed...I'm not employed. There is a difference.) I knew that was bringing me down on top of myself being so ingrained to being unhappy. I do recognize this issue and know other people can see it. Unfortunately, many people do not understand what they are seeing and resort to simply doing what they can to make it disappear, even if this means bullying, etc. I've been run out of workplaces by such people because being myself was simply not acceptable in their circles. The one great thing about IM is that I'm able to communicate well through writing (though not always) but when it comes to actually being in a one-on-one situation with other people, especially those I do not trust, it goes sour. I find myself not being able to get out of mine own way, not knowing what to do with myself (trying to "look' busy,) not wanting to be there in the first place. I try to take initiative to do something. Last time I did this, I was suddenly told there was no more work for me on that job, no further explanation... Later, the person apologized to me but saw me as a threat to customer relationships over the exact issue I brought up above i.e. speech/body language. It was suggested I find employment where I'm not visible to the public. Fine thing to say to someone trying to learn how to market on the Internet...or market any way for that matter. I am grateful that I've indeed found the right kind of people to learn positive things in life else I'd be shackled the same way those who talk down to me are...and are not even aware of the chains about them.
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