Alarm Clock!
Ironically, there is a song playing...something from the 1940s,or possibly the late 1930s...all about vacationing in Brazil. I had to turn it off. At its silencing comes the dull roar of all the commuting traffic on the highway nearby...an all too familiar sound of the "work week."
It's Monday morning. I can't spend too long writing. I have been away from this scene since February - almost a year ago. Gone was the ugly reality of having to get up before the chickens at the sound of an alarm clock forcing me into submission. Gone was the repeated pushing of that Snooze button.
But it's all back.
Ten months of solid Internet marketing has passed. It's now up and at 'em. I'm thrust back into the hard highly routinized lifestyle of the working man...the wrong side of the fence once again...working for an employer.
In 45 minutes I'm out the door. My life is now on the whim of an employer. It's still dark. My failures at Internet marketing has earned me back the reuniting of that old worn-out pair of shoes...time not my own anymore. I'm languishing the taste of luxury I once had.\
Internet marketing has moved to second place...or third place in my life. Will I even have much more than a couple hours a day anymore for it?
Cold hard reality filtered through my dreams and desires...once again. Rain or shine, no matter what the weather...I'm drug out that door to a world not my own. Doing now what I wrote so vehemently about - living life on others' terms rather than my own. I've been defrocked.
My first day of employment is here. It is a dark day for me. I had a taste of luxury. It is now wiped away like the dream that it was. I had a chance to live it for awhile. It didn't happen...such a costly mistake.
I must stop writing for time is not my own anymore...I have not given up. It's time to change my strategy and work once again at regaining the freedom I had...or did I?
Golly, I wish it would get daylight outside! Go people in WA! Don't let this happen to you! Get those sales! If you are not working at a job, get busy here! If you are in a job and hate the lifestyle...I feel for you.
I have to do this for now. At least I will be able to keep WA. It's 7:00 now. If I don't get myself together I will be late the first day on this new job. It's not a glory job by any means, but it's expedient. It was a last resort. So many people are happy now that I've come down out of the clouds...
The True Cost of Freedom
Even during that time off, I was not truly free. I lived under someone else's roof. I was still dependent. The only taste of luxury I had was getting up when I wanted to without an alarm clock. But it all came with indignation from others.
Now I'm congratulated warmly for having accomplished throwing aside my dreams and subjecting myself to what has been expected of me by the employee-minded.
In the world around me, my found treasures must remain a secret. I'm back to silently working at them. At least my closest neighbor understands my direction, though a practical man that he is, knew that my freedom was not real. I had to go back to the muck...and not be negative about it.
I've slipped up again.
I'm supposed to be leaving right now and my bowl of cheap chili is still in front of me.
It's only a defeat. All I can do now is get up again and get back in the game. We don't always win at them, but one day I will. I can still feel it, as remote as that feels right now...