Rock, Paper, Scissors

Last Update: June 15, 2010

Ever have one of those days when your very best rock fist gets covered by that flimsy piece of paper each time?  Or when your nice, open-handed zen paper-palm gets sliced straightaway by some bad-a** shears?

Yeahhhhhh.  I always did hate Rock Paper Scissors.

Wanna hear my story? (Oh please, please, please?)  And then I shall cease whining and segue into all that is pure niche-vana.

I used to have a bajillion friends in these parts, because I worked hard at MAKING friends.  "Make a friend before you need a friend," my granny always used to say.  (Her other refrains that I didn't like quite as much were, "Oh mercy! Just pull up your socks and be a woman!" and "Quite crying in your beer."  I can remember her telling me that one when I was four and still drinking my milk from a plastic Josie and the Pussycats mug).

Anyway, divorce in a gossipy small town can result in severe memory loss, I've learned.  Now I get glares or zombie looks from people with whom I used to line soccer fields. Or plan postpartum meal deliveries.  Or teach Sunday school.  Well, three of the zombie-friends Facebook-messaged me last weekend.  "Hey, would you mind picking up all our kids from the pool party and letting them sleep over at your house?"

I said okay, no problem...and even had a glimmer of hope that things might be returning to something resembling normal. Paper.

Found out just today that they wanted me to do late-night driving/hosting duty because they were partying it up with the ex and his (just announced) fiancee.  Ssssscissorrrrrssss.

Throwing up in my mouth a little just thinking about it.

So what did I do?  Well...I was very tempted to call my sister and have a good old-fashioned whine festival.  After all, I'm entitled, right? (Snivel, snivel.)  And she has these great stories to interrupt me with, because she's dating the TV Guide Cheers and Jeers reviewer guy and he's so smart and pithy the one-liners she reports just about knock my socks off.  But, Cheers and Jeers guy notwithstanding, I knew I'd be all upset and teary-bleary by the end of that call... and what good would that do? 

So I put my phone on the other end of the room, blew my nose, and settled down for more article-marketing "niche-vana" on this mid-June day.  Before I knew it, all of the zombies had been blown far away.  (Really!  I actually saw them blowing down the street, stony zombie expressions intact.)

My Market Samurai campaign is in full swing.  Quickest site to index?  ArticlesBase.com.  Second-quickest site to index? (Big surprise here.)  My writing services blog!  I was also surprised to see some of my Twitter tweets come up in Google searches for my keywords as well.  Really disappointed in how wonky Squidoo is being.  The jury's out on that one.  I know Squidoo is supposed to be the bomb, but...it's not impressing me thus far.  I also tried today to work in a little plug for WA in my article, and it told me uh-UH--get that spam outta there.  I'm thinking klrider is on to something in focusing on doing HubPages.  Any thoughts from all of you?  Should I just be patient and await Squidonculous miracles?

So...I'm making some nice headway in the rankings for my primary keywords. Most of the articles I've written are turning up in searches.  And the first MS Squidoo lens finally did get indexed.

I've written another lens promoting Market Samurai now. And another EzineArticle and Hub to go with it.  I'm hoping this one will end up getting found by regular small business owners (not IM'ers, per se) who just don't want to pay reams of cash to a boutique SEO firm.  And since I research/write for two boutique SEO firms, I figured I could get have a little fun with some of their Emperor's New Clothes moves. (Can't help but roll my eyes sometimes over how they try to portray it as all super-hocus-pocus to their clients.)   Here's that one:  http://squidoo.com/lower-search-engine-optimization-cost.

I worked without a break until it was time to pick up the kids from school.  I am proud of myself, and I feel every time I add to a campaign a little bit like I am investing in real estate.  Web real estate.  Grabbing my little end unit by the alley and fixing it up.  Hoping people will stop on by and drop a few bucks in the donation pail.  (Is there any way to get site visitors to have a pomegranate martini or two once they've stopped by?  That's probably how I'd get the donation bucket full in real life.  Well, maybe that and some appetizer made from the recipe on the back of the crescent roll dough can.)

Thanks for reading, suggesting, and encouraging.  Thanks for commenting and being gracious.  No zombie-friends around here.  Who wants a pomegranate martini? 

 

 



 

 

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xploringsuccess Premium
I like your attitude. I think you should move to another town though. I escaped the D.C. metro area about a year-and-change ago. I don't even like to visit. Move to Texas or something. Don't tell anyone you left either.
Fallulah Premium
Maureen you've done it again lol! It seems so unfair that you have to be on the end of such rottenness (is that even a word?!?!) in order to bring us such mirth and value ... I think it would be a great idea to keep all your blogs and one day in the not to distant future, publish them exactly as they are in a little black book with a suitably naughty front cover entitled Living Well is the Best Revenge lol coz you're going up girl! I'm a bit disappointed with Squidoo myself five lenses and a fair bit of effort later - I'm not sure if I've just not chosen good enough keywords, whether I'm being impatient bla-di-bla or just not done enough linking, my main problem is they seem to flick in and out of the Google index so I feel a bit like I'm chasing ghosts. I have totally no doubt that you are going to have the last and longest laugh my friend - your ex sounds like a proper plank, successful or not lol ... Fallulah
samboka Premium
I would love a martini, newbie here i am karen and really relate to your story and you told it with such humor. hope to here more from you thanks for cheering up the newbie. :)
weathergirl Premium
I'll join you too. And I'm with jatedeaune--Squidoo is a bit like that fiancee of your ex...I rather leave it than take it.
jatdebeaune Premium
Pomegranate martini? That sounds good. I'll join you. Do you have a newsletter yet? It's a great relationship builder. I use Constant Contact and like it very much. Listen Maureen, that poor fiancee. Rejoice! Gain freedom from every style of zoombie. They just bring you down. I'm not enamored of Squidoo either.
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