Good morning, or whatever it is when you read this.  I heard a joke awhile back and I thought I had to foist it upon you.

Snail salesperson knocks on a door.
The guy of the house opens the door, and the snail makes the sales pitch.
The guy of the house kicks the snail clear across the street.
Two years later, there's a knock on the same door.
The guy of the house opens the door.
"What was all that about?" asks the snail.

I just knew you wanted to read it.