Who Do You Trust? Who Can You Trust?
Last Update: August 18, 2010

Taking a couple days of R&R, looking at rocky cliffs and going to museums and just can't stop thinking.

The Internet has posed many opportunities and an equal number of challenges.

I'm a very old fashioned girl.  I like to look people who I'm doing business with in the eye. I want them to look me in the eye. Check it all out, please. Use your instincts. Even though I recognize the importance of contracts, I've had many contracts in my life, I'm just like my grandfather and my mother. OLD FASHIONED. My word is gold. All you need to do is get my verbal consent. I'm not bragging. I have a lot of company out there. I meet those people every day. I thank God every day for good honest people and want as many of them as possible to come into my life.

Question is, how do you know who is who?  Especially over the Internet? Sure, people can put their faces on their sites. Not every serial killer looks like a serial killer. You've heard of Baby Face Nelson? Even if John Dillinger really looked like Johnny Depp, why would you trust him? Why would anybody trust me? Do you trust me? Why?

There are people like Frank Abagnale (Catch Me If You Can),  who had a talent, a genius for fraud. He was also very charming. He's working for the government, security issues, how ironic.  A few years ago, I was working on a project that caused our paths to cross.  Abagnale was very charming.  Crook, yes. I do not justify dishonesty in any form. However, in his case, you do have to contribute a few points for "style". Can you imagine the mayhem he may have created over the Internet?  Do you have the disposition for that? Not I.

You have to earn people's trust. If someone expresses interest in your product, you don't have to hustle them in order to close the sale. BE A FRIEND!!! Yes, I'm not kidding. Treat customers as if they are friends, and yes, family. Respect people and they will respect you in return. What's more, they'll trust you. If someone hustles me, it's all over. Lost forever. Unless there's a miracle.

We are here at WA to learn and exchange information, to help each other reach our goals. This is not the marketplace. I, for one, didn't come here for that. Yes, I like to learn about new opportunities and programs. The hustle is something different. Do you agree?

 

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Jamie Smith Premium
Trust is a HUGE issue, thanks for sharing your nice blog!
jatdebeaune Premium
@maureenhannan: I like the Jeffersonian ethos at U of VA. I think that's necessary in school. I'm all for doing business, but not in school. I'm actually alluding to "hustling", not just putting in an affiliate link, which is fine. I was hustled. Not classy.
@fallulah: Paula, Sleep with one eye open. I used to be Bambi in the trust department. I believe in trusting and that people are mostly great. There are certainly great people here at WA. I sleep with one eye open these days, and it's mostly because of IM.
@Louise M: It's a wonderful quality to be trusting. Usually people who are trustworthy themselves, trust others. I've gotten skunked in the past, but people mostly don't let me down. When they know you believe in them, they want to come through. I do all I can not to let others down too. Abagnale is a charmer. Very bright, though you'd never know talking to him what he was able to pull off.
Louise M. Premium
I agree! Actually, I trust people very easily. Well, I trust my instinct first. I've never been betrayed nor really disappointed by someone, well only once really but that was a long time ago. Anyway, I know that even if that happens again, if I trust someone who turns out to be a liar and an unreliable person, it won't change anything for me, I'll keep trusting people. I trust my subscribers and customers and online friends a lot. And they give it back to me. :) PS: Meeting Abagnale must have been great! This guy was a genius. I forgive genius people. :) Thanks for this post Joan. I always enjoy reading your blog.
Fallulah Premium
GREAT post Joan ... and comment Maureen! But y'know what? And it's a funny thing because I haven't really thought about it before this last five minutes, but I think I'm become MORE trusting as a result of my IMing work. Isn't THAT bizarre? Hmph. What's that all about then? Ponder ponder ponder. Intriguing. I'll have to think on that one. Perhaps it's not trusting in others but trusting in my own powers of discernment? 'bout time [lol]! I love the integrity of Jefferson's ethos Maureen. On the other hand, I really LOVE the idea of acknowledging somebody's positive influence in my life --- affiliate commission is a means of accomplishing that. Maybe it's a crude means, and as we continue to evolve as a species we'll come up with something less vulnerable to roguery! I guess it all bold down to personal integrity. Definitely food for thought.
maureenhannan Premium
Yes, yes, yes! You are spot-on in what you say about the pricelessness of trust. I too have a hard time (much as I also love it) with a medium that does not allow for me to gauge nonverbal cues. Eye contact, nervousness vs. ease, remembering my name in conversation, etc. I'm good at discerning trustworthy people in my day-to-day life. I have had a more mixed track record in online dealings, and of course it makes me nervous wondering about the online Frank Abagnales out there.

I think about my own blog posts here...maybe it's best to have a 100% no-affiliate-links policy. There is a train of thought...I'm recommending this cool thing anyway--wouldn't it be cool if I could recommend it through an affiliate link....

But when I think about it, I'd really like to be part of a no-selling zone myself here. I think we can all try to curb our marketing exuberance with our peers here at WA and really try to honor the "learning community" focus. Can't help but think of my time at U. of Virginia--where one might have thought Thomas Jefferson was actually walking the halls and grounds at any given moment. So strong was the ethos he'd created of "an academical village." Nothing crass of cheap or self-promoting was ever supposed to come between students and ideas, students and professors, students and writing/building/applying. A wonderful ethos in which to build trusting relationships. I still stay in touch with my favorite teachers from that time. Later found out that several of them COULD have promoted their books and "brands" very easily among their worshipful students if they had so chosen. But they restrained themselves in the interest of not creating cynical, distrustful students.

Trust really is golden. Thanks for writing this, Joan.
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