Frustrated With Always Being Told that Self-Employment is Wrong.....
Last Update: May 13, 2012
So I did my good dead for the day and called my mom to wish her a happy mothers day. But of course something that should have been an innocent call, instead left me feeling frustrated, yet again, because my parents are dead set in the idea that working for yourself is wrong, even though they have done it for 30+ years!
Of course this topic of discussion reared its ugly head, yet again, after she had mentioned the glowing positive reviews one of their friends gave them after taking a look at my moms website. Said friend thought she had the site professionally done, to which my mom told her that her and I did it. Needless to say the friend was impressed, which made me feel good. So I made the comment that skills like that are something that I can technically charge people for.
That is when the conversation took the turn for the worse. She mentioned the conversations they had with said friend and her husband when they went out to dinner the other night. A conversation that was focused on politics and the economy. And it was at that point that she dropped the bomb yet again, stating, "Thats why we tell you its better off working for someone else. That way at least you have your retirement, insurance, etc covered."
To that I replied, I have to fund my own retirement, and all I got back was "well you should", followed by, at least you don't have to worry about funding 100% of your social security etc. To which I thought to myself thats a joke, you're talking about a plan that will more than likely no longer exist when I finally reach retirement age.
Luckily the call didn't last much longer as they were in the car, and were about to lose cell phone reception yet again, but its conversations like this that drive me crazy. How can someone who has not worked for someone else since the 1960s-70's give me advice on the fact that its better to work for someone else, when that someone else perceives workers as just a commodity, as my husband put it.
For once I just wish they would be a bit more open minded about things, instead of viewing it with the blinders of their experience. I have the chance to well surpass my yearly salary, yet they are focused on the financial aspect of running a business.
While this has not changed my dreams, I just wish they would hear me out, without retaliating every single time with the you're wrong, this is what you should do. I am not a child anymore, and I'm going to do what I want, regardless of what they say, I just wish they would be happy that I have such determination to do something on my own, instead of poo pooing on my parade every single time.
Of course this topic of discussion reared its ugly head, yet again, after she had mentioned the glowing positive reviews one of their friends gave them after taking a look at my moms website. Said friend thought she had the site professionally done, to which my mom told her that her and I did it. Needless to say the friend was impressed, which made me feel good. So I made the comment that skills like that are something that I can technically charge people for.
That is when the conversation took the turn for the worse. She mentioned the conversations they had with said friend and her husband when they went out to dinner the other night. A conversation that was focused on politics and the economy. And it was at that point that she dropped the bomb yet again, stating, "Thats why we tell you its better off working for someone else. That way at least you have your retirement, insurance, etc covered."
To that I replied, I have to fund my own retirement, and all I got back was "well you should", followed by, at least you don't have to worry about funding 100% of your social security etc. To which I thought to myself thats a joke, you're talking about a plan that will more than likely no longer exist when I finally reach retirement age.
Luckily the call didn't last much longer as they were in the car, and were about to lose cell phone reception yet again, but its conversations like this that drive me crazy. How can someone who has not worked for someone else since the 1960s-70's give me advice on the fact that its better to work for someone else, when that someone else perceives workers as just a commodity, as my husband put it.
For once I just wish they would be a bit more open minded about things, instead of viewing it with the blinders of their experience. I have the chance to well surpass my yearly salary, yet they are focused on the financial aspect of running a business.
While this has not changed my dreams, I just wish they would hear me out, without retaliating every single time with the you're wrong, this is what you should do. I am not a child anymore, and I'm going to do what I want, regardless of what they say, I just wish they would be happy that I have such determination to do something on my own, instead of poo pooing on my parade every single time.
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Balrog
Premium
Robert Kiyosaki has an acronym about working for someone else... J.O.B. or 'Just Over Broke.' You're not wrong for wanting to take charge of your own path rather than leaving it in an employer's hands. Don't worry about what other people say, because time will show you to be right.
ThomasPaul
Premium
When I first started out I told all my coworkers what I was doing. I would tell them when I went to a self-development seminar, what I was doing with internet marketing, etc... I got a lot of grief from it. I know a lot of times it was just good natured ribbing, but at the same time I didn't appreciate some cracking jokes at my dreams even if they were serious.
For a while I stopped talking to them about it. Then overtime I realized that they just didn't fully understand my view point of it. If they didn't think it could be done it was just based on their views which was based on their limited knowledge of the subject. Now I don't care what they think anymore. I'll tell them about how I spent $200 on PPC and only made $50 back. It amuses me to see their reaction. At the same time I think when I am successful they will be the first ones asking me how to do it.
It's kind of baffling though having your parents say those types of things considering they're self-employed. I think jatdebeaune hit the nail on the head when she said they're probably just trying to protect you.
If it really bugs you that much you might want to have a conversation with them. Something like "I love you, but I don't appreciate it when you attack my dreams/poo poo on my parade. I would love to share what's going on in my life with you, but if you continue acting this way I won't be able to."
You might find out that they're not even aware that they are making you feel this way when they make those comments.
For a while I stopped talking to them about it. Then overtime I realized that they just didn't fully understand my view point of it. If they didn't think it could be done it was just based on their views which was based on their limited knowledge of the subject. Now I don't care what they think anymore. I'll tell them about how I spent $200 on PPC and only made $50 back. It amuses me to see their reaction. At the same time I think when I am successful they will be the first ones asking me how to do it.
It's kind of baffling though having your parents say those types of things considering they're self-employed. I think jatdebeaune hit the nail on the head when she said they're probably just trying to protect you.
If it really bugs you that much you might want to have a conversation with them. Something like "I love you, but I don't appreciate it when you attack my dreams/poo poo on my parade. I would love to share what's going on in my life with you, but if you continue acting this way I won't be able to."
You might find out that they're not even aware that they are making you feel this way when they make those comments.
jatdebeaune
Premium
Funny, I have just the opposite viewpoint of your parents. I think you are much safer in the long run on your own. No one can fire you, and you have no glass ceiling. If something isn't working for you, then you can adapt it yourself, and not wait for someone to give you permission. Those retirement pensions are being rescinded by some employers. Social security is uncertain, as you say. Medicare is a joke. I think it's a matter of grass being greener on the other side of the fence. Your parents just want to protect you. I've been self employed most of my life, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. No, it's not easy, but neither is being an employee.
taradm
Premium
I can definitely relate. I haven't been doing this nearly as long as you have, so everyone, even my husband is wondering what I'm doing on the computer all the time, and why! I get the sarcastic, "hmmm" and the eye-rolls occasionally. It's very discouraging, because you need the people you love to believe in you! Parents will always worry, it's what they do. But it looks like your parents have been pretty successful working for themselves, so hopefully they will come around!
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