What Has Been Up With Me As of Recent....
Last Update: May 30, 2012
I have been trying to be good when it comes to keeping my thoughts and frustrations to myself when it comes to the WA chat, but that has lead me to go relatively MIA within the past few weeks. I keep trying to carry on general conversation, while the whole time I find myself freaking out on the inside.
As most of you already know, I currently work as an IT contractor, but what many may not know is that I am to be out of a job come the end of June. While I should be putting all my time and effort into working on at least one of my sites in the meantime, I instead find myself almost paralyzed, obsessing over the what-ifs, and how we will pay the bills.
As if to make matters worse, we want to move south to FL which leaves me with no interest whatsoever in finding another job up here as I know it will be one that requires me to go into the office each and every day.
I now find myself stuck when it comes to what to do next. I have currently been working on getting rid of more stuff on eBay, as methods to making short term cash seem to help calm me a bit, but eventually I will run out of things to sell. Sure I can apply for unemployment should the shoe inevitably drop, but that is only a short term fix.
I know that my sites are the solution to long term residual income, but how do I bring myself to work on them when I can barely drag myself out of bed in the morning or formulate a sentence?
I have been physically sick for months because of all the stress, and I know that doing nothing is doing myself more harm than good, but I have no clue as to how to break myself out of it? True, I should be creating a To Do list for myself each and every night, but it does me no good if I am unable to bring myself to complete the tasks that I have set out for myself.
I really don't know what else to say at this point. Hopefully I will wake up one morning with an epiphany of sorts as to what I should do next, but at this time I find myself floundering from sheer fear.
Anywhoo, thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings, as I did need to get it off my chest, and If you have any simple tips for me as to how to get out of this funk, I'd be happy to hear them!
As most of you already know, I currently work as an IT contractor, but what many may not know is that I am to be out of a job come the end of June. While I should be putting all my time and effort into working on at least one of my sites in the meantime, I instead find myself almost paralyzed, obsessing over the what-ifs, and how we will pay the bills.
As if to make matters worse, we want to move south to FL which leaves me with no interest whatsoever in finding another job up here as I know it will be one that requires me to go into the office each and every day.
I now find myself stuck when it comes to what to do next. I have currently been working on getting rid of more stuff on eBay, as methods to making short term cash seem to help calm me a bit, but eventually I will run out of things to sell. Sure I can apply for unemployment should the shoe inevitably drop, but that is only a short term fix.
I know that my sites are the solution to long term residual income, but how do I bring myself to work on them when I can barely drag myself out of bed in the morning or formulate a sentence?
I have been physically sick for months because of all the stress, and I know that doing nothing is doing myself more harm than good, but I have no clue as to how to break myself out of it? True, I should be creating a To Do list for myself each and every night, but it does me no good if I am unable to bring myself to complete the tasks that I have set out for myself.
I really don't know what else to say at this point. Hopefully I will wake up one morning with an epiphany of sorts as to what I should do next, but at this time I find myself floundering from sheer fear.
Anywhoo, thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings, as I did need to get it off my chest, and If you have any simple tips for me as to how to get out of this funk, I'd be happy to hear them!
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Marad
Premium
Hi Jennifer,
Welcome in my world! lol Yes, it is like the chapter from my biography. The difference is that I already lost the job - my court and police interpreting (outsourced to crap agency) and closed down my internet shops (not worth the effort, too much hassle with packing etc for nearly nothing). So here we are in a situation which is quite difficult to solve. It makes me sick, stressed, depressed and anxious. But there is the light in the end of the tunnel as I've been there and wore the Tshirt . What is different that I am a bit older and I just know that I have to cope - somehow and make the brighter future happen! That is the point which keeps me going - it is the confidence that I will solve this situation as I did solve many difficulties in the past. I am sure you did as well!
The bright sites of it: 1. I have to be creative - a lot! to manage, find reserves, find how to save more, 2. and I have to be creative to built something for the future.
I am not in position to go for normal job - doesn't fit into our school duties, and also there are simply no jobs worth the effort available at the moment.
it is clear that many people are in similar position. Friend of mine is unemployed for more than a year, native English lady with skills etc, applied for more than hundred jobs - no luck so far. Well how lucky I am that I am able to create my own job, and at least have a chance to change my future.
As I just keep going as much as I can things happen: - two days ago my old friend came around and we agreed to do together some private community interpreting. Not much for it but better than nothing. - Today another friend called asked for a room for a friend to live. As I have a spare bedroom I am able to invite him here and get some cash for it (luckily without spending my time).
What I want to show you is that you have to keep going. Even little step is a step forward! Do not punish yourself for not filling your daily plan - you need a bit of positive discrimination. Take it step by step: start to plan what time you will be by computer, the next step will be half an hour writing.. just simple little tasks which keep you going forward. I am always stressed etc. but when sit by computer I start to focus on work and will do at least few bits. Few bits than change into hours of work. Do not be so hard on yourself - it doesn't work.
Kyle is right in the point to imagine the worse scenario.
Well, it can be really difficult but there is always a sunshine and always something positive on any situation. In my case - I have a bit more time to spend for myself. So I joined slimming club and go roller skate every other day - what a luxury! What a great company of ladies who need to lose much more weight than I do. See- not everything is so bad. I wouldn't do it if I wouldn't be pushed by job situation to think about myself! (BTW one pic of me on skates with Olympic torch is in my profile). And yes - I wouldn't be here as well. So many positives on my situation. I am sure there are many of them in your situation as well. Write them down - it will start to make sense. :o)
Sending HUGS! xxx
Marie
Welcome in my world! lol Yes, it is like the chapter from my biography. The difference is that I already lost the job - my court and police interpreting (outsourced to crap agency) and closed down my internet shops (not worth the effort, too much hassle with packing etc for nearly nothing). So here we are in a situation which is quite difficult to solve. It makes me sick, stressed, depressed and anxious. But there is the light in the end of the tunnel as I've been there and wore the Tshirt . What is different that I am a bit older and I just know that I have to cope - somehow and make the brighter future happen! That is the point which keeps me going - it is the confidence that I will solve this situation as I did solve many difficulties in the past. I am sure you did as well!
The bright sites of it: 1. I have to be creative - a lot! to manage, find reserves, find how to save more, 2. and I have to be creative to built something for the future.
I am not in position to go for normal job - doesn't fit into our school duties, and also there are simply no jobs worth the effort available at the moment.
it is clear that many people are in similar position. Friend of mine is unemployed for more than a year, native English lady with skills etc, applied for more than hundred jobs - no luck so far. Well how lucky I am that I am able to create my own job, and at least have a chance to change my future.
As I just keep going as much as I can things happen: - two days ago my old friend came around and we agreed to do together some private community interpreting. Not much for it but better than nothing. - Today another friend called asked for a room for a friend to live. As I have a spare bedroom I am able to invite him here and get some cash for it (luckily without spending my time).
What I want to show you is that you have to keep going. Even little step is a step forward! Do not punish yourself for not filling your daily plan - you need a bit of positive discrimination. Take it step by step: start to plan what time you will be by computer, the next step will be half an hour writing.. just simple little tasks which keep you going forward. I am always stressed etc. but when sit by computer I start to focus on work and will do at least few bits. Few bits than change into hours of work. Do not be so hard on yourself - it doesn't work.
Kyle is right in the point to imagine the worse scenario.
Well, it can be really difficult but there is always a sunshine and always something positive on any situation. In my case - I have a bit more time to spend for myself. So I joined slimming club and go roller skate every other day - what a luxury! What a great company of ladies who need to lose much more weight than I do. See- not everything is so bad. I wouldn't do it if I wouldn't be pushed by job situation to think about myself! (BTW one pic of me on skates with Olympic torch is in my profile). And yes - I wouldn't be here as well. So many positives on my situation. I am sure there are many of them in your situation as well. Write them down - it will start to make sense. :o)
Sending HUGS! xxx
Marie
smokeywins
Premium
Thanks for the feedback! Glad to know I am not alone, but sure doesn't change the fact that it scares the crap out of me. But must deal with the cards I am dealt and move on. Not really sure what I want the outcome to be, as both have their pros and cons. I think I will need to read the article Beverley posted. :-)
jgreg
Premium
Jennifer: I'm a newbie at WA and have felt alot of what you have expressed in your post: overwhelmed by the recent failure of a business that I put my heart, soul, and financial resources into; recurring bouts of physical illness; selling off assets to meet my obligations; difficulty focusing my mind that has, in the past, afforded me with laser-like focus; anxiety for perhaps the first time in my 56 years; self-doubt over my inability to keep my business thriving in spite of our failing economy; and somewhat overwhelmed by the literal "sea" of information at WA as I blunder my way through the information in hopes of finding just the right combination so that every step I take moves me in a positive direction financially and professionally.
But after spending literally a couple of months online searching, reading, and looking at different options for generating revenue in an Internet-related environment, what felt right to me was to use the background, education, experience, intellect, and awareness that has brought me to WA to express my passion(s) by way of Affiliate Marketing. This is not the first period of great difficulty I've experienced in my life, but it is the first one in which I am completely determined to find the courage in the midst of fear to respond to my struggle in ways that are not only life-affirming but also meaningful and fulfilling to me. Just know that you are not alone in your struggle, and make every effort, as hard as it may be, to keep one eye focused on the horizon as you struggle through your days. And also know that your willingness to share what you are going through gave me the courage to do so as well (this is my very first post).
But after spending literally a couple of months online searching, reading, and looking at different options for generating revenue in an Internet-related environment, what felt right to me was to use the background, education, experience, intellect, and awareness that has brought me to WA to express my passion(s) by way of Affiliate Marketing. This is not the first period of great difficulty I've experienced in my life, but it is the first one in which I am completely determined to find the courage in the midst of fear to respond to my struggle in ways that are not only life-affirming but also meaningful and fulfilling to me. Just know that you are not alone in your struggle, and make every effort, as hard as it may be, to keep one eye focused on the horizon as you struggle through your days. And also know that your willingness to share what you are going through gave me the courage to do so as well (this is my very first post).
smokeywins
Premium
Thanks for your feedback! Hope you have the courage to post more in the future as we are all here to help each other out. I would not have posted what I did if I felt I would be looked down on negatively. I will work through this, it just may take some time.
klrrider
Premium
Hi Jennifer and sorry to hear you are struggling. We live in a society gripped by fear. In fact fear is used by just about everyone to get what they want from you. Health, job, terrorism, taxes, climate change, religion... man I could go on and on... Like Kyle says, it all starts in your mind, don't let them get in your head. Try focusing on the positives, this will really help. I fear only one thing... the Almighty and not a morbid fear but a fear of displeasing Him. Treat others the way you wish to be treated (even if they don't return the favor) and feel good about yourself. You will become and remain productive and the blessings will follow. Best to you and keep writing!
kyle
Premium Plus
Hey Jennifer! I think what you are going through is something that a lot of people go through and it is natural based on your situation. Believe it or not, regardless of your situation there will be stresses but I can tell you that stress is simply a perspective of where you are at. Many people in your same situation are happy and many people that have much less than you and don't have their health are able to remain positive.
Why is this? In my personal experience you have always look on the bright side of things, if you always look at the negative or the potential for something to turn out negative it will just emphasize you existing stress.
Also, take your worse case scenario. Are things really going to be that bad? I always look at my worst case scenario and I realize that I have a lot to be happy about even in the most difficult of circumstances.
I hope you can overcome this as stress is only going to lead lack of productivity. Use "what could be exciting" as motivation versus "what could really suck". That latter will just lead to compounding stress.
Why is this? In my personal experience you have always look on the bright side of things, if you always look at the negative or the potential for something to turn out negative it will just emphasize you existing stress.
Also, take your worse case scenario. Are things really going to be that bad? I always look at my worst case scenario and I realize that I have a lot to be happy about even in the most difficult of circumstances.
I hope you can overcome this as stress is only going to lead lack of productivity. Use "what could be exciting" as motivation versus "what could really suck". That latter will just lead to compounding stress.
smokeywins
Premium
Thanks for the feedback Kyle! I guess the hardest thing for me is I have become so focused on the money aspect that any chink in the armor sends me in a downward spiral. I need to realize once and for all that I can't handle everything, and that I am making progress, no matter how small.
I know it probably won't be as bad as I am thinking, It just scares the crap out of me more than anything else.
I know it probably won't be as bad as I am thinking, It just scares the crap out of me more than anything else.
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